Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
