no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
