let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I met the friendliest cop last night
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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