You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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