are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize