i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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