everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
