Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
