and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize