Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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