Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
