You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
