One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
