I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
