I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
