This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
As shirtless as possible
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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