she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
