his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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