next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
