But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
