I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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