so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
