Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
