# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
