I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
