i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
