two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
