i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
