Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
