If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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