Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
