I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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