...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
