i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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