I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
