The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
