I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
