I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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