her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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