i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Someone shattered a urinal.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize