Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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