So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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