Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize