even my farts smell like vagina
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
