i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
