This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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