Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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