I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
