real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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