just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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