You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
