just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
