The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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