she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
