i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize