Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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