This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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