If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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