So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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