I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize