I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
