I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
