i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
