It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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