yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
