if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
