We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
