if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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