Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
