can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
